The banality of "recovery" / by Scott Fauble

The Banality of Recovery:

Want to know what the daily schedule of a professional runner is like? Well, you came to the right place, because I am about to tell you.

7:00 am: BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ, my alarm goes off and I open my sleepy little eyes to the motivational message scrawled across my phone’s screen, “Time to wake up, Scott”

7:05 am: I yawn, as I spoon the coffee grounds into the coffee machine and flip the switch that triggers the delicious nectar to be made.

7:06 am: I pray to the coffee gods that I didn’t forget any of the crucial steps needed to make coffee, like the filter (there is a precedent). It’s a cruel fact of life that coffee is needed for my brain to function at the level needed to make coffee.

7:15 am: I eagerly go through my daily ritual of burning my mouth on my coffee while my roommate Stephen chastises me about making a mess with the coffee grounds, which is ridiculous because a man can only be expected to do so much before caffeine has entered his system.

7:45 am: Grab my Hokas and head out the door with Stephen in tow.

8:00-9:15 am: Run with team and other friends

9:30 am: Get back to my apartment, make/ eat breakfast.

9:50 am: Shower, sometimes. Don’t judge me please.

10:00 am: Turn on Sports Center and do core.*

*1x plank to exhaustion followed by laying on my yoga mat helplessly while sports highlights flow from the TV.

10:30 am: Stretch and foam roll*

*put a foam roller under my head while I scroll through Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and tinker with my fantasy football team).

10:50 am:  Stephen leaves for his job at a local sushi place. We joke about ways to burn it down without getting in trouble or losing Stephen’s semi-weekly paycheck.

11:00 am: Move to the couch where I lay sprawled out and turn on Netflix. This is what the youth mean by the phrase “Netflix and Chill” right?

1:30 pm: My hunger demons wake up and I stumble to the kitchen to eat a lunch consisting of the first 3 things that I come across that have a low probability of giving me a tummy ache when consumed in combination.

3:00 pm: Sushi Boy Stephen comes home, waking me from my Netflix coma.

3:05 pm: I regain cognitive functioning and turn off Netflix.

3:06 pm: Decide that I should read a book, head to my room grab my book and then scroll through Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and tinker with my fantasy football team.

3:55 pm: Time for my second run

4:15 pm: Grab a different pair of Hokas and head out the door with Stephen in tow. Stephen asks what I did all day, I lie and say I “worked.” We both know the truth, but I can’t admit that I watched 8 episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. What kind of Jabroni spends his day like that?

5:00 pm: Return from second run, the hunger demons are calling but I know that if I eat now I will get hungry again so I grab a handful of almonds and pumpkin seeds and lie to myself about how filling those are.

5:05 pm: Stretch and foam roll again*

 *lay on my yoga mat while scrolling through Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and tinker with my fantasy team.

5:45 pm: Shower, sometimes. Don’t judge me please.

6:15 pm: Cook dinner.

6:17 pm: Take the burrito out of the microwave and burn my mouth on the first bite.

6:30-8:30 pm: To be completely honest this time of the day is usually a blur. I can’t say what I do during this time period. Probably scroll through Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and tinker with my fantasy football team*.

* Note: There is no excuse for how poorly my fantasy team is doing this year.

8:45 pm: Time to get ready for bed

9:15 pm: Grab my book and read until my brain does that thing where I read the same sentence 3 times in a row and my eyelids fall over my eyeballs and I start to have a half dream concerning that single sentence I just read 3 times.

9:17 pm: Go to sleep

7:00 am: BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

Here’s the thing about most of my days, they’re boring. I tell myself that I need to recover from past workouts and prepare for the next one. I rationalize my sloth like behavior as dedication to recovery and am quick to cite an old saying thrown around by cyclists that goes, “never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lay down.” Well guess what, watching Netflix and scrolling through the various social media outlets that I am a part of is down right mind numbing. Each day I slip farther down on the intellectual ladder. I passed this moment of John Callipari's life last week and now this girl is squarely in my sights.

Paradoxically, my day is both designed around conserving energy and is also exhausting. Doing nothing all day is tough work, apparently. Don't get me wrong, I'm an experienced lazy person. My last few years of college I did my fair share of "chilling" but I also had to interact with people, on occasions where I was forced to things like study, or eat. To be clear, by "interact" I really mean, that I stared disapprovingly at freshmen ordering triple macchiatos with extra whip while I looked on from behind my cup of black coffee. So with those very fond memories, of morning spent in close proximity to both the popular performance enhancing drug know as caffeine and people who were yet to discover the most efficient delivery system to the chemical nirvana that is a coffee buzz, bubbling to the surface of my consciousness, I broke out of my routine. I pulled on a pair of jeans AND a sweater (I know, crazy right??). I left my comfortable couch and ventured out into the world. The midmorning sun burned my eyes but I pressed onwards and eventually trekked the 2 blocks to a coffee shop where I am now writing this very post. In the time since I arrived and ordered my large cup of black coffee, Flagstaff High apparently let out for lunch. I know this because I got to stare disapprovingly at a whole new group of youngsters! I sipped my delicious cup of black coffee while I saw freshman boys who are worse at flirting than their female counterparts seem to be at applying lipstick. I got to witness such crimes against humanity as a cheerleader pouring a Monster energy drink into what looked like an ice tea. I shook my head as a young lad proudly bragged about how many likes he was going to get on the picture he just posted of his latte. I saw more, much more. Most of which I don’t even understand well enough to describe here.

Basically, what I am trying to say is, today was a step in the right direction!

Faubs